gender roles

a note: re traditional roles. In the Parsons model of gender roles, Model A represents total role segregation, and Model B represents total role disintegration. In Model A, Woman takes care of the largest part of these functions; she educates children and cares for them in every way, whereas in Model B, Man and woman share these functions equally.

so I grew up with something more toward model A, as did you, I guess. And now I guess we are trying shift more toward model b, and you want to shift a bit faster than I do. Does that sound right?

I guess I feel frustrated because the status quo is changing (being changed by you), and I'm finding that difficult. My school work is harder than ever, and suddenly I am being strongly requested to take on more of the load at home as well. It feels a bit unfair to me, because things are suddenly a lot more difficult for me, and if feels like the are conversely a lot *less* difficult for you. This seems reasonable if the previous status quo was such that things were relatively a lot *easier* for me than they were for you. If that was the case, I hadn't been aware of it. So along with things suddenly feeling a lot more difficult for me, I also have the shock of coming to realize that maybe that's only the case because up until now I was having it easy, whereas you were having it super hard. I don't want you to have it super hard, but I am also finding it very distressing that apparently the place I was before, which *seemed* really hard, was actually relatively easy compared to what is actually meant to be expected of me. Like I won't be able to handle it, for sure.

Hope that is making some sense.

I love you. It seems like somehow we should *both* be able to have things a bit easier. I guess at one level if that's not possible, then I *ought* to have things the same, or harder, so that you can have it easier. "man to sacrifce for his wife" and all that. But it doesn't feel very fun or pleasant.